Rocky Point, NY, 5-DEC-2019 – On a nondescript day in March, 1977, my mother drove towards McCarrick’s Dairy, the local convenience store, three blocks away. As she crossed Prince Road a car on her right ran the stop sign pushing her car into a LILCO light pole that was so far into the road way that the paving crew paved on both sides of the pole.
The impact of the car hitting the pole, together with the twisting force of the car on her right, caused her head to hit the “A” pillar between the windshield and the car door. She severed her spinal cord at ‘‘C4’’, the fourth cervical vertebrae. She was a quadriplegic for thirty-one years.
My dad took care of her all those years, making certain that she was healthy. Quads generally live ten to twelve years after the injury and generally die of complications from bed sores, as did Christopher Reeves, aka Superman.
In her thirty-one years as a quad, she volunteered as an advocate for the aged, arguing for mobile seniors her junior. She traveled to London and the west coast, took courses and was the matriarch of the family.
This past Saturday morning, my Dad had a brain-stem stroke as a result of a blood clot.
A brain-stem stroke is one of the most horrific in that the paralysis can be total. At this moment my dad can voluntarily open his eyes and move them up and down, not side to side.
He can not swallow, nor cough, nor even move his tongue. He can almost breath without a ventilator, but the reflex may not be strong enough. He is, however, completely aware and awake.
The Depeche Mode song comes to mind, ‘‘I don’t want to start and blasphemous rumors, but I think that God has a sick sense of humor, and when I die I expect to find him laughing.’’
Things could happen, he could start to get some recovery, but both clinically and from what we can see through CATScans, this is unlikely. My dad has the type of pacemaker that precludes an MRI.
The surgery to clear the clots took place five and half hours after the stroke. Any time before 3-1/2 hours, and the results of the stroke may be reversed. If he had been given ‘‘clot busters’’ (TPA) immediately upon entry into the first emergency room, the clots may have disolved and he may have recovered.
The first emergency room turned him away. I’m unsure whether they did not have the capacity or did not have the skill set.
The second ER was 15 minutes away.
Where was he for five hours? I don’t know. I will be working on this mystery in the coming days.
I will leave you all to think about the decisions that must be made. PM me your advice.
An obit for my mom written by my dear friend Phil Jordan that ran in local papers: http://jjcs.com/LillianJulianoObit.html
John,
What an inspiration your mother was to so many others by not giving up after her auto accident. Until you posted her obituary I had no idea what a wonderful and courageous mother you had. I can see her determination and fortitude in you, whether it came from her genes or her example.
Please know that I’m thinking of and praying for your Dad, you, and your family every day and wishing you the best, whatever the outcome turns out to be.
Please feel free to get in touch if there’s anything I can do to help.
Prayers