17-oct-2019, 24° 06.53N 138° 27.58W — I think to make this work, this being sailing across large bodies of water, the ocean and the weather must become the background to life… the canvas upon which life is lived, rather that the central uncertainty upon which life hangs.
We have been offshore a total of nineteen days so far this trip.
The first seven days, the segment from neah bay to bodega bay, are a grayed-out trauma, from which we gleaned our readiness and preparation to go offshore. I think time ashore will let us recover that memory.
On this leg we have enough time and continuity that we less fear we will die, than our navigation choices well unduly lengthen the trip. Yet, we are not living life in the context of the trip. The trip is first and foremost in our life.
Today, the freedom a properly working wind vane would yield is driven home with the decision to run the engine as much as necessary to allow the autopilot to steer fulltime if we want.
It makes us remember the first two days of this trip when the wind vane silently took over that responsibility.
Today, I am thinking about things I want to do without thinking of them in the context of sailing the boat, but as tasks that can be considered on their own.
We have been accomplishing required tasks, like rewiring the automatic bilge pump, baking bread, making meals from individual ingredients, but these were all accomplished with the same sensation as repairing a car engine when the hood won’t stay up.
Since everyday, except today, one of us had been steering, the other has read the very good novel Cutting for Stone, out loud. Today we have each worked on some different tablet- based projects, and napped.
On the advice of Ray Penson, we are running with the trade wind, which may have just shown up. Possibly today, but definitely before nightfall we’ll reef. If we need to reef to the amount Ray suggests, we’ll be down to a 90% jib and two or three reefs in the main. Jennifer and I discuss the order of reducing sail we should take to get us there.
Jennifer has also shared with me the sentiments of some friends who are not subtle about opening Jennifer’s eyes to the abuse she has suffered from me which forced her to believe she had no option but to join me on this senseless journey that has so frightened her.
We have traveled about 1300 nm on this leg, with another 900 and change to go. We’re more than half way there.
Something this long will change us, no doubt. We feel closer to each other, at this point in the trip, that than we may ever have. I believe that I better understand some of the aura that cruising couples share. But, I also realize there is time for Jennifer to fully accept the idea that she will not die on this trip and view me and why she came to be here differently.
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We’ve had a few flying fish land on our deck. We haven’t eaten them for breakfast as I am told we should. We see them daily skim across the water.
Jennifer has kept her Peterson’s bird guide busy with different birds we see. Have we seen an albatross? We’re unsure.
After some rain this morning, the sky is turning blue and the wind is shifting… decisions to be made.
Sent from Iridium Mail & Web.
Marvelous entry, John – thank you.