16 Shamrock Rd, Rocky Point, NY, 1-JAN-2020 – This past Sunday, December 29th, 2019 at approximately 3:30 am, eastern time, my father, Babbo, died of coronary arrest after suffering a major stroke four weeks earlier.
There was no DNR (do not resuscitate) in place. He was on the Neurology ICU floor at Stony Brook Medical. All attempts to resuscitate him failed.
I had wanted to name our boat the Vincent A, after my dad, but Jennifer didn’t like all the pointy letters. I turned to a dear friend in Milan, Franz Rossi for a name. He suggested Caro Babbo, which is Dear Daddy in Italian. It was a name that fit and one in which he took great pride.
My father was an arm chair sailor, who supported me in all of my sailing adventures and, it must be admitted, lived vicariously through Jennifer and my adventures.
He was a man of great intelligence with that never ending spark that yearned to learn more and to understand and dissect everything he learned.
He was a man that people remembered, who was a great mentor to young people, who inspired everyone to understand that our dreams should be sought, chased and captured.
He was also a second son of parents for whom the first son was the chosen child.
He was a tremendously devoted man to those he loved.
He cared for my mother for 31 years after a car accident made her a C4 quadriplegic, when the average life expectancy of a quadriplegic is ten to twelve years.
He was a man of strong opinions, who was not shy nor reticent to bring those opinions to the fore.
I have much more to say about my dad.
He will repose at Branch Funeral Home on 25A in Miller Place, NY from 2pm to 4pm and 7pm to 9pm January 2nd, tomorrow. The funeral and burial will be Friday with a reception at his home, 16 Shamrock Rd, Rocky Point, NY at 1pm.
All who would like to pay respects or join in a remembrance are invited.
My heart aches for you for the loss of your dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you in the coming days. I didn’t know him but I do know he raised a fine son. God Bless!
Thank you, Don.
The funeral was today. On the one hand, I want to say, it is done. But we all know it only just begins now: the grieving starts, and we start to settle the estate and take care of all my parents belongings.
Thank you for these kind words.
Hi John, Again so sorry for your loss. Your Mom and Dad always made me smile. Your Mom was one courageous woman throughout her life. She was extremely important to me when I was about 21 and helped me with some issues with her support and understanding. I loved that woman! I visited your parents with mam about 25 years ago in Long Island. Dad I knew less but always loved his company. They had a love story to remember always. Now that Dad is gone he will be so happy to be reunited with Mom but I’m sure he’ll miss everyone here. You had amazing parents and those memories will always be with you. Take care over the next few days and please say hi to the rest of your family! With lots of love from us. Liz (Diening) Bonser.
Liz,
Thank you.
I didn’t know that you and my mom had this relationship. I’m pleased to hear it and glad she played that role in your life. My mother was that woman. When I was in high school girls in my year would visit my mom to seek guidance and advice. It was confusing to this 17-year old boy when pretty girls would show up at the door and be looking for my mom.
I hope we meet again some day.
Best,
–j
Dear John,
Liz put it all so well, based on her experience of your parents. I, too, have happy memories of both your parents, starting all the way back to 1964 when your mom would drive us to St Bonaventure school after we moved to Waddington Cres. I remember when your parents visited us while we lived in Trenton, ON while I was in the Canadian Air Force and taking your Dad sailing in a small 16 ft boat, which I tipped in the Bay of Quinte but managed to get back to the dock after we righted it. I also remember our visit to your parents in Long Island with my parents.
I have very fond memories of both your Mom and Dad and was so impressed how lovingly he looked after your Mom and how devoted he was to her well-being. We lost my Dad in 1999. Our Mom, however, is still living in Vancouver in an assisted-living home very close to my older sister Ankie.
We have lost touch over the years however the memories of both your Mom and Dad remain strong and primarily, I think, because of how they made you feel when you were with them. They certainly made a difference to many while they were with us.
I hope that you and the rest of your family find peace knowing that your Dad is no longer suffering, and is at peace, with your Mom.
Our sincere condolences,
Joep and Carol
Hi Joep,
Thank you for these kind words.
I remember those 1960s times very well. I think we kids (however many Julianos there were at that time) stayed with your family for a few days. The cultural differences were very confusing to me, however small they may seem to us today. I hadn’t thought about that stay in many years. What makes it interesting to me is that I made my living for a number of years by being the cross cultural liaison in bunch of different parts of the world – it wasn’t my title, but that is the skill that was most valued by my customers.
Thank you for your condolences and I hope we meet again some day. We spend about a third of our time on the Olympic Peninsula, not far from Ankie and Trudi.
I saw you mom the summer before last when my partner, Jennifer, her mother, Hilary, and I were heading south from Alaska back to Seattle. She is very much the woman she always was.
Best,
–john